Ah, the amazing logic of kids:
• A youngster called his grandfather to wish him a happy birthday. He asked Grandad how old he was and was told 68. The grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, “Did you start at 1?”
• Five-year-old Mark couldn't wait to tell his father about the old movie he had seen on television: 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. The scenes with the submarine and the giant squid had kept him wide-eyed.
In the middle of the telling, Dad interrupted Mark. “What caused the submarine to sink?” he asked.
With a look of incredulity, Mark replied, “Well, Dad, it was the 20,000 leaks!”
Kids’ logic in school
• Teacher: “Maria, go to the map and find North America.”
Maria: “Here it is.”
Teacher: “Correct. Now class, who discovered North America?”
• Teacher: “John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?”
John: “You told me to do it without using tables.”
• Teacher: “Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?”
Teacher: “No, that's wrong.”
Glenn: “Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.”
• Teacher: “Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?”
Donald: “h, i, j, k, l, m, n, o.”
Teacher: “What are you talking about?”
Donald: “Yesterday you said, it's h to o.”
• Teacher: “Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?”
Harold: “A teacher.”
• Teacher: “Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have 10 years ago.”
• Teacher: “Glen, why do you always get so dirty?”
Glen: “Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.”
• Teacher: “Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?”
Simon: “No sir, I don’t have to. My mom is a good cook.”
Why parents drink
A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to, “Dad.”
With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.
“It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you.
“I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am.
“Stacy says that we will be very happy. She owns a really nice trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.
“We share a dream of having many children — in addition to the one we’re expecting now.
“Don't worry Dad. I’m 15 and I know how to take care of myself.
“Someday I’m sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
“Your son, John
“PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a report card. It’s in my desk drawer.
“I love you. Call me when it’s safe to come home.”