Speaking of whimsy:
• The trouble with living alone is that it’s always your turn to do the dishes.
• We are all born ignorant. Remaining ignorant is where the problems start.
• Senseless vandalism is rightly deplored, but it’s very difficult to find any carefully thought out vandalism.
• Anyone who says that Canadians don’t get enough exercise has never tried to find a parking space in a Walmart lot!
Getting right to the point — an exchange of letters:
Dear Dad,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can’t think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love,
Your $on
The Reply:
Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love,
Dad
Car trouble?
A fellow brought his car into the neighbourhood garage for a tune-up. Returning a few hours later, he asked the mechanic if he found anything wrong with the car. The mechanic replied: “Well, I checked it over and found that everything makes a noise, except the horn.”
Top-10 reasons why God created Eve:
10. God worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.
9. God knew that Adam would one day require someone to locate and hand him the TV remote.
8. God knew that Adam would never go out and get himself a new fig leaf and would, therefore, need Eve to get one for him.
7. God knew that Adam would never be able to make a doctor, dentist or haircut appointment for himself.
6. God knew that Adam would never be able to remember which night to put the garbage out on the curb.
5. God knew that if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.
4. As Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools.
3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.
2. As the Bible says, it’s not good for man to be alone.
And finally, the No. 1 reason that God created Eve —
1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head and said: “I can do better than that!”
Pun poisoning, anyone?
Once upon a time, a married couple bore twin sons. However, they could not afford to keep them, so they put them up for adoption. One of the boys went to a Spanish family and was named Juan. The other son went to an Egyptian family and was named Amal.
Some years later, Juan became curious about his real parents.
After researching and finally locating them, he sent them a nice letter and a picture of himself. Upon receiving the picture, his birth mother said: “I’m so glad that he’s happy. And what a wonderful picture. I wish we had a picture of Amal. I wonder what he looks like."
Her husband turned to her and said: “I wouldn’t worry about it, dear. When you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.”
Real Estate News
Sep 11 2014 Issue
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